As most of you know I sling pasta at your neighborhood Olive Garden, and I (and everyone else who works there) put up with a lot of unneccesary bullshit. So I am going to provide everyone with a free dining ettiquette course.
1) Standard tipping these days is 15-20%. NOT 10%! NOT 5%! NOT 0%! Yes, I do get paid minimum wage...but...and this is a BIG BUT..my wages are taxed due to the tips I HAVE to claim and since we are supposed to claim 100% of our tips and everyone knows standard tipping is 15-20% then the minute you tip me less than this I am officially paying to serve your fat ass!...so contrary to popular belief I don't make a stable minimum wage
2) Unlimited soup salad and breadsticks does not mean...
- come in with an old friend and park your ass in my booth and sit there for 3-4 hours...move it along...time is money...you sitting in my booth is taking up the times I could have other people sit there...therefore you are costing me money which means I can't afford that really cute summer dress I saw at the mall yesterday!
-run my ass off and leave me $1. NOT OK! The harder you work me the more money you should be giving me because you have now taken my attention away from the really cute guy sitting at my table who I was planning to flirt with a little to nail me a bigger tip...therefore I nominate you to make up for my loss of profit.
-contrary to popular belief ordering unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks is not "being easy..." you are actually making my job ten times more harder for a hundred times less money.
3) Just because I am a server does not mean I am an idiot. I probably even have a higher education than you and might be teaching your children someday...and...I...DO...REMEMBER...YOU...the disrespectful jerk...and I will not hesitate to fail your child. KARMA'S A BITCH! Please, Thank You's, and Sorrys are all necessary.
4) Just because you told me how great I was and even told my manager how wonderfully perfect of a human being I am that does not exempt you from leaving me a good tip. I already know I'm perfect. P.S. I will never get a raise from my employer...YOU ARE MY RAISE...so if you think I deserve a raise...don't tell me...show me.
5) The kitchen messed up your food...or you came in on a Saturday night and we're slammed so things are taking a little longer...I WILL bend over backwards to make sure everything is perfect which could include comping your meals or give you free dessert...sorry sir but some things are just completely out of my control, so please don't take it out on me, I will be honest when it's my mistake and will adjust your bill accordingly...I'M HUMAN, I'M NOT PERFECT, MISTAKES HAPPEN...be a little forgiving already!
Reasons you should be leaving a minimum of 20%:
1) You ran my ass off and made it so the service on my other tables was god awful.
2) You're child was a rude pain in the ass and you did absolutely nothing about.
3) You just paid for your whole meal (or a good portion of it) with a giftcard...which means (I know this is hard for people to comprehend so I am going to spell it out for you) YOU DIDN'T PAY ANYTHING FOR YOUR MEAL!!!!
Believe me, when you come in I do want to make it an enjoyable dining experience for you and 85% of the guests are absolutely fabulous to serve...but that 15% out there is making it hard for me to afford that trip to Costa Rica I have been saving up for...
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2 comments:
Remember how we were talking about reading people's blogs and then copying their style?
Let's just say I was "inspired" by this post of yours...
its nice to see each of you inspired by each other?
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