Dumbshit Award

Over the past few years my family has created what is known as the dumbshit award. It is an award that is passed along each time someone in the family does something completely stupid and makes you wonder how we have managed to make it this far in life. Well in my time I have definitely held the award a few times. I got it once for leaving my license at home, driving to mapleton when finally realizing it, driving back home to get it because I was going to Seattle the next day and then the day I head to Seattle I realize out side of Portland that my drivers license is still sitting at home in Eugene. I also got it another time for putting dish soap not detergent dish soap in the dishwasher and there were bubbles coming out for days. My mother has had it for sending a dead chamelion through the washing machine and my dad has had it so many times we have officially lost track. Well as of lately my mother has had it for losing her paycheck and driving to Eugene for class even though class was canceled.

Well...shit...I officially took the dumbshit award from her, which she is rather happy about mind you. However, I must defend myself, it was half Nickos's fault. I came home from work today and decided before going over to the SIL's house that I should probably clean the room and do some laundry. Well I was sorting clothes and I'm usually EXTREMELY good about checking the BF's pockets because he is always leaving useless crap in there (to the point where I have decided that I am keeping whatever money I find in the pockets, hey, it's his fee for me doing the laundry...I suppose money ain't so useless). Anyway...I threw a pair of his shorts in the pile and though to myself "I should probably check his pockets I might find me a fat hundo that I can spend on myself...," but then I remembered that he only wore them to bed so there wasn't going to be anything in there to benefit me so I threw it into the washing machine....


dun dun dun...

So Slick hasn't been able to find his phone (I'm sure you all know where this is going but I couldn't quite figure out how to lead this story another direction so I'm going to finish it anyway)...us and the roommates have been looking up and down and here and there for that damn thing and no one can find it. We are trying to retrace steps to no avail and then Barnjammin mentions that he saw Slick grab it this morning and then I thought to myself....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. He was wearing those shorts this morning that are now offically sitting in the washing machine waiting ever so patiently to be put into the dryer......

....I quitely walk out to the garage and check the shorts pockets and of course....there is the phone...chillin....dead, apparently cell phones don't like to go swimming. We try to recessitate the phone...and instead of coming back to life it instead sounds like a really awful bagpipe player...


I am now the official proud co-owner of the dumshit award...I am still convinced slick is sharing it with me since he never checks his pockets....I must now set a family member up so they can take the dumb shit award back **Plan boiling in my skull...mwahahaha**